i'm beginning to think i want a studio apartment. as much as i'm afraid i'd be lonely...i am more afraid that i will end up committing some sort of serious felony by living with others. boys drive girls crazy, and thus cause them to be annoying and shrill and distracting. i dislike being around girls who are currently in a state of insanity because of a certain member of the opposite sex. is it some sort of viral disease? more likely a severe hormonal imbalance. apologies to others for this affection in myself [i know it's happened occasionally and from time to time.] whatever it is, i am going out of my head.
insomnia is fun, except when you have to get up at 730 in the morning. at 730 in the morning, insomnia is like a bag of bricks swinging wildly at your face while your bed whispers in a most ingenious voice [very similar to viggo mortensen, and on occasion with a slight australian lilt ala heath ledger] "i am a hole of comfort and safety and warmth. hide beneath my blankets with your head upon my pillow and no one will know the difference" and just as you almost succumb to its wiley seduction, the bed vanishes, and in its place appears a textbook, which is dancing around, waving its flimsy little arms and chanting "no sleep for you, sucka!" i actually sometimes hear these things. is this bad? my textbooks are really mean-spirited. thus, my owly expression in the morning. but they cannot pull off the slang use of the word "sucker" (nor would they be able to pull off the word itself if they were to say it correctly, because they are textbooks, and not gansta rap stars) and so i laugh a little bit. but then i realize that i still have to stay awake, and start scowling again. ergh. i am SO not a morning person. civilization does not exist before 1045. thanks for offering, i'll be unconscious 'til then.
+ brown sweaters
+ reading poetry in the morning to wake myself up
+ understanding econ
+ naps (my saving grace)
+ brokeback mountain
+ having my best friend back in the country
- having to understand econ
- lying eyes and uneasy social states
- apartment hunting
- back problems
- bad food
our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up
we're just a million tiny gods causin' rain storms
turnin' every good thing to rust