Friday, February 15, 2008

or just, see you later?

i guess it's not the way you always planned it
looks like you're heading for a crash landing
that's just the way it looks from where i'm standin'

rollercoasterofaweek. waking up with a fever, watching a senator take hold of a nation, driving two hours with my surrogate family to a city by the sea (or the best that i can get, in the middle of the snowiest winter in wisconsin history). the tiny small children bring me up, and your familiar eyes weigh heavy on my mind these days. one minute i'm cruising toward the open ocean, the pulitzer, the teacher of the year; the next, i'm alone in a library, my bed, the corner of a cold, deserted street. the king size bed with the selfish space-sleeper. cafe au kahlua. visits with my chicos like old times, but still aching because it will never be the same. vd, sola. i like it that way, mostly. just not when i've had a few screwdrivers, my house is full of lovers, it won't stop snowing, and my dates keep falling flat of overarching effort.

things i'm looking for this year:
the jim for my pam.
a publisher.
the appropriate situation in which to reenact each of the individual bluth family chicken dance(s).
a house by the sea that rumbles and moans.
sleep.

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