"i'm an atheist, too. but one of my favorite songs is a hymn."
"exactly. you're a funny girl. but that's what i love about you."
"you don't love me gorgeous. you love the idea of me."
"maybe i do. but maybe i love you, too."
- remembering why it was there in the first place. i was so angry for a while that i forgot, and that's never the point.
- conversations about writing; pulling it out of your mouth like a string coiled in the pit of your stomach. slowing the wheels long enough to spit it out on the page. spitting it wrong.
- dreams about: a room full of broken pianos, the tango down 12th ave - backwards, sneaking around, climbing up and over.
- no parking on the front step, the door step, the bus stop, the rest stop, the stoop for the vacant. no parking for the vacant, the vagrant, the worldly possessions collective. no parking.
- {positively 4th street} for both sides, now.
- the tri-bar hop with mr. rego (also known as the genna's - montemarte - nachtspiel loop).
- samson; still my favorite r. spektor.
- [the self-indulgent artist] v. [contributions to the greater collective] debate
- "the slow wearing-down of time, right here in our faces" ( i get my philosopher's vox from my father)
- sociological round table studies.
- walking out the back door without really saying goodbye / and not making eye contact much because when i let myself / it might get dangerous again (and my stubborn from my mother)
[...don't answer the telephone, ever,
or weep over anything at all that breaks.
pink molds will grow within those sealed cartons
in the refrigerator. accept new forms of life
and talk to the dead
who drift in through the screened windows, who collect
patiently on the tops of food jars and books.
recycle the mail, don't read it, don't read anything
except what destroys
the insulation between yourself and your experience
or what pulls down or what strikes at or what shatters
this ruse you call necessity.]
-advice to myself; louise erdrich-
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