Thursday, May 04, 2006

midnight [a meditation on the lotus kids]

The only girl I've ever loved
Was born with roses in her eyes
Now she's a little boy in Spain
Playing pianos filled with flames
On empty rings around the sun

it's so very close to being the end of things. i can feel it in the way we move together, the way our eyes are constantly meeting, hoping to express that constant aching feeling that this is the last time for anything, for everything. it isn't, but we feel that way now, with the urgency of it all. things will be different of course, but when we started all of this mess, it was a different thing for us then as well. and now look at it. now, it is this big beautiful chaotic thing, of all these ridiculous people with their ravenous emotional eyes and their hearts full of bursting turquoise adoration and their ambivalence [strong ambivalence] towards life and where it is that we might be going, it is this big beautiful chaotic thing of all these ridiculous people trying to BE. people are clamoring for room to breathe, and filling all the empty space with words so that they don't waste precious seconds, because this is it, these last days. with the knowledge that we will never be here again...we change. we open, like the magnolia blooms that fell for six days from the sky, and then we let everything in. there is an orgy of souls. there is time spent, and reminiscence, but mostly it is just these people, panicked and terribly desperate that they will lose something of them when everyone else dissipates from their atmospheres, and they've all got their arms wrapped around each other, letting every possible inch of skin and bone and flesh mingle, and melt. so that maybe, just maybe, it will retain. they're afraid to let go, to come apart, unravel. to let in open space, because it will only grow larger, for some. but they are magnetic, these people, and those that have too many gaping holes, too many missing pieces...these people will not lose their fragile grasp once the holes have formed. they will live in them, and under them, floating inside the white noise and empty translucent silences. these holes will be filled with people! we are these people.

Let's do it all this time.Into the shadow showing.Enter the rolling tide.Over the ocean so wide.Let's do it all this time.Everyone wishing well we go and.Everyone knows anything goes.We are the lotus kids.So better take note of this.

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