i'm terrified of forgetting. not big things, or people, because i know i will remember those. [i have the memory of an elephant, after all.] what i'm afraid of is forgetting little moments, the tiny spaces between inside jokes and shared words that begin to stitch people into a layer of silk and cement. the combination of the two, that makes us stick to each other, unquestioningly. without explanation. that space i'm afraid of, when it doesn't fill, and i'm even more terrified to forget the feeling that comes with it. on those nights (in kitchens, on driveways, around tables, over coffee, with movies, before doorframes, on sofas) that i just want to cling to, remember every second. literally...i'm not quoting a cliche. i wish i could fill myself with seconds like these.
things to remember:
voice inflections and the manners in which people tell stories.
the reflections of light in the eyes of hippies in the giant living room at dusk.
dancing to techno, drinking gin, making rosemary bread, and being in a bubble.
catalpa is a kind of tree.
the feeling of 'taking note' of your body.
the islands. the accent of the islands.
carrying stargazer lilies through humidity and crowded streets.
the way that the lake sounds so similar to the ocean outside of my window.
soundtrack (thus far) to summer 2006:
walking on broken glass (annie lennox)
leave me to love (imogen heap)
40 years (counting crows)
the other side (david gray)
gone going (black eyed peas feat. jack johnson)
fakin' amnesia (bikeride)
night moves (bob seger)
where there's a road (robbie fulks)
stirling brig (the corries)
fever (peggy lee)
send me on my way (rusted root)
don't stop me now (queen)
earthquakes and sharks (brandston)
katmandu (bela fleck)
GOD: i own you like i own the caves.
THE OCEAN: not a chance. no comparison.
GOD: i made you. i could tame you.
THE OCEAN: at one time, maybe. but not now.
GOD: i will come to you, freeze you, break you.
THE OCEAN: i will spread myself like wings. i am a billion tiny feathers. you have no idea what's happened to me.