Wednesday, September 21, 2005


wracked by aches...i can feel each and every one of my bones when i move.
prickles - shivers, drive the hairs along the back of my neck into oblivion.
the hard back of the chair is pressing my ribcage into my lungs... wracked by aches.

lying on the ground, attempting to get comfortable - knees up, arms bent, hands on my stomache. legs unshaven, sleep too vital. ants crawling, making their little black way into my little black pants. ants in my pants! and a smallish green and orange, which glows like an oil spill.

the chewer by the elm tree...packing and glinting in anticipation. the blue tin lying in the grass, i can almost smell it from here. disgusting.

wait...that's not tobacco... it's tuna. he's not a chewer, he's a hippie making a tunafish sandwich on the hill. funny how your impressions can change so quickly.

black ink stained into the skin like its become your very blood...staring out at the world from the inside of your wrist, quietly waiting to declare its presence - when shirt sleeves are lifted, when the hand is extended to shake, when arms are flung wide in expectation of a hug. it'll begin to fade, never fear. eventually the water will wear away, taking bits of the black when you least imagine. and it's over time, really... the grand canyon wasn't made in a day. but what am i saying...tattoos have nothing to do with rocks.

our relationship consisted of opening doors - that's it. that's it...opening doors. the span of human interaction is fascinating. conversations and love affairs, friendship and kindness on the bus, right down to the smallest of gestures. made with the glance of an eye or the upward twitch of the lips... how complex we primates of the metropolis really are.

i have irrational fears about my health. i'm liable to claim i'm coming down with a bone disease when my shins whince, and any sniffle or tickle in my throat quickly morphs into a horrendous case of yellow fever. call me a hypochondriac, but sometimes i think i might be right, that for some reason my immune system has obtained super-molecular powers, and i have managed to fend off any number of dreadful diseases. i can feel my t-cells at work, armed to the teeth and snarling in the general direction of any virus they come across while traversing my bloodstream. it fucking hurts! when they battle, i mean. sort of gives me an empathetic view of conflict - i'm inside the body of a civil war victim.

'cause when I look down,
I miss all the good stuff,
and when I look up,
I just trip over things.
- ani.

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